Over the years
I’d get to see how life gets to be contentious at times. There will be days where I could feel I’m the most electable person, for I got everything I wanted. But, sooner or later, a bit of misery would knock into my life. I’d get confused and began to awe.
A point where you would feel like everything’s at the place but there’s something missing. People would always catechize me how I’d get to see myself 2-3 years from now, forcing me to get a job that offers the highest salary, evoking me how worse it is to get those tattoos, telling me I’m not a dog to feed myself with too much food whenever I’m having a rough day, questioning me why I don’t even stay in one place, even giving me a “time-limit” where I could settle down and have kids. TO FORTHRIGHT, THIS BUGS ME EVERY NIGHT.
I was too eager to chase what I really wanted, but as much as I’d love to know and answer those, it would still give me a big blank on my head. 2-3 years from now, I could see myself trying to figure out things on my own, might not get the highest salary but relishing and gaining the experience at work, walking down the aisle on my BFF’s wedding, having a bite of my favorite pizza around the corner or probably to be in a place where I got to embrace new culture and environment.
I may be naive, but maybe that’s probably life has been telling me. On not to pressure me and, not to based how others comprehend about my life. Of course! I’m overwhelmed to see my colleagues who are now managers or may have the highest position, more happy to see my friends getting married and having their own family.
God knows how much I prayed for them too. IT WAS DESTINED FOR THEM. I need not compare, and need not hurtle into those things when I know it’s not even meant for me. I SHOULD NOT IMPEL MYSELF TO BE IN THOSE SHOES WHEN I KNOW THINGS WON’T WORK OUT THAT WAY.
All these thoughts gave me an idea that maybe the missing part that I am trying to find would take a lot of time and tenacity. Enjoying simple things in life will always be priceless, that’s the way I see my life right now. No pressures, no delays, no limits, no time to rush.
I live in a world where everything is interim, that it might be gone in one blink of an eye. For now, I want to collect memories and make those little things part of my life. I want to be on my own, I want to live peacefully by own thoughts.